ROBOTON1C

So there we were… Two bro-fucks on our way to a superhero-themed party on a warm fall night. Jonny P dressed as Robin, fake muscles, eye mask and all. J Antony dressed as some sort of generic black superhero called Supa N*gga donning a black fedora, white beater, wayfarer sunglasses, velvet pants, a hound’s-tooth cape, and LA Gears. Leftover accessories from sloppy nights of Halloween’s past. Cell phones in our left pockets. Wallets in our right. In hand, a bottle of no-name gin, and Minnesota State Fair Sweet Martha’s Cookies. A seemingly uncommon pair that would soon embark on a beautiful marriage.

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We stopped for a break and plopped our superhero asses on the steps of Walter Library. The pillars of the façade mimicked that of traditional Gotham City architecture. We really were comic book crime fighters. Or perhaps law breakers hence we were publically drinking on academic property; the stairs of the library, literally on the steps of knowledge. It was that very knowledge that helped us come to the awful realization that we had no chaser. But as superheroes, we had to be quick and resourceful, solving problems on our toes. (or in this case, on our asses) Then the “a-ha!” moment surfaced. The only item in our possession to make the taste of alcoholic pine needles less… shitty, was a bucket of Sweet Martha’s cookies. We knew what we had to do and we knew that it had to be done.

Unscrewing the cap of an Ice Mountain water bottle released the unmistakable scent of cheap gin and the smell of fresh baked chocolate chip cookies was already in the air as the bucket they rested in was opened. 1. Chase, 2. Drink, 3. Chase: the sequential order and superhero drinking code that would allow us to take in the potent elixir while simultaneously indulging on moist, chocolate confectionary. We chased Gin with Chocolate Chip Cookies. We did what we had to do. We did it well. It tasted awful but we knew that what happened on those steps that night would forever seal in the bond of superheroes, brothers, and friends. ROBOTON1C was born. Gin and Cookies would forever be the drink to always remember but want to forget… much like the happenings of that very evening which were rehashed the following day in text massages and on Facebook chat: Jonny P went to the right party then wandered off unknowingly to the wrong party where he threw up and slept in a bathroom. J Antony ended up taking a 4 mile hike home at 4 am. All in the name of Gin and Cookies. All in the name of ROBOTON1C. This is dedicated to the ones that make it work. That do everything they can with what they have to make the best of a bad situation and turn it into a memory that will last a life time.